I’m Leaping The Rift

(This post was created Nov. 2010.  The Center is no longer running but that doesn’t make much difference because life is simply peaks and valleys.  I am still interested in working with women who have been abused and women who just need to find their life spark.  The way I go about it is different but it’s all relevent.   By leaving this post up I am letting you know a little bit more about who I am.  You will see into my life a little and hopefully it will inspire you live your life and follow your dreams.)

I dreamed about this.  I hoped for this.  But I never actually thought I would be here on the cliff taking a leap of faith.  The Woman’s Study Center is officially open for business.  Yes, tomorrow is my first official workshop.  First, I have always had an excuse for why it wasn’t happening.  The #1 excuse was that at the last dentist visit the new crown they put on did not fit my old bridge and so I had to go without the removable bridge until I could save enough money to have one made.  That has been a year ago and over that year I have been hospitalized, I’ve developed asthma, I’ve had to replace almost every electrical appliance and unit in my home including the well pump.  The washer and dryer went out last week.  We’ve replaced the dishwasher, stove, microwave, furnace, TV’s, Tivo, computers, printers, phones…you name it we’ve replaced it and now the water heater needs replacing.  We’ve lived here 13 years and everything is just wearing out.  So, the bridge has had to be put on the back burner.

Now, I’m not a usually a vane person but I am missing my adult eye teeth that never came down after the baby teeth fell out.  They are impacted.  It’s a hereditary thing.  So, I have been wearing a removable bridge since I was in high school.  It has changed my face.  And, it has made me self conscious.  I kept putting off the official start of the Center because I was waiting to get my partial.  And, I was waiting until I officially retired because I would have extra money then.  I was waiting until I could afford a permanent office space.  I was waiting until I had been certified in all levels of  Reiki so I could hang out my shingle.  I waited because I was negative self talking.  I was afraid of failure.  I was afraid…afraid…afraid…  Finally I had a good talk with my Higher Power.  I do that every once in a while when I am feeling particularly  vulnerable.  Or when he has kicked me in the psychic butt and dragged me kicking down the road.  And he does that occasionally too.  I tend to procrastinate.

Ok, there you have it.  My creative spirit river has been dammed up.  I have been sloshing around in toxic pollution and had almost given up trying.  Well, I was re-reading my Women Who Run With The Wolves and here it was, the chapter on creativity.  And low and behold, there were my symptoms.  And there too was the solution.  Just Do It!  I had to stop waiting for perfection because my river was going to end up dead if I didn’t just walk to the edge of the cliff and jump.  So, I made a baby step.  I called the local Clemson Extension Service and talked to the Director who was over the 4-H program.  They had a building that they let groups use if the met their criteria.  And it was free.  A donation was all that was required to cover basic utilities and cleaning.  I could do that!  Suddenly, I had a place and a time.  And, the time worked out perfectly, as did the dates.  All Saturdays.  I couldn’t have asked for more.

I said “Thank you” to HP (my Higher Power), and  took a deep breath and went to the gym to work out.  There behind the desk was a woman I had hired when I had been the Front Desk Coordinator there a long time ago.  Actually I had hired her.  I was on the treadmill when I had this need to go talk to her.  I quit earlier than usual and walked over to her and began telling her about my Center.  Her face lit up and she almost screamed in delight.  “I am hosting a Woman’s group who is into mind, body, spirit, and I don’t know what to do.  Can you help me?  I offered to do a creativity workshop for her group as my gift to her group.  I was off to the races.

Well, not only do I get to practice on this woman’s group, but I made a flier and put it up at the YMCA about my series of 6 empowerment workshops.  The lady who is hosting the woman’s group wants to be in on them and knows others who would come along. And she wants a couple of fliers to put up where she works.  It is actually happening and all it took was me to Just Do It!  Thank yhou Nike!

I am ready!  My dear sweet husband bought me a wheeled case normally used for scrapbooking and it holds my supplies nicely.  My finances seemed to be endless this month so I was able to purchase all the supplies I needed.  And, I still didn’t have to touch my savings and have money left over to get us through the rest of the month.  I almost didn’t believe it because the money just stretched and stretched and stretched and I had everything I needed and then some.  Thank you, HP!  Of course that was because I forgot about my dentist appointment this month, making my dentist mad, and so I had that money to supplement with.

I have decided not to finish my bridge until after the first of the year.  I’ve gone this long and a little more time won’t matter.  It still bothers me some, but if people let it bother them, it is there loss.  So, all in all I am ready and anxious for tomorrow to be over.  I will let you know how it goes.   I guess it was time for me to practice what I preached.  More on that later.  I’ll share what I learned about creativity, flow, and blockages.  I learned a lot this last three weeks.

I hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and here’s to the Holidays and The coming New Year. PS, we’re doing a collage for this workshop.



~ by womenstudycenter on November 27, 2010.

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