What do you really want to be doing?

Well, January brings us to  a place of reflection.  The new year seems to be the catalyst of change for the world.  We make resolutions.  We intend to change.  We want to be happy. However, statistics tell us that a minority actually make the changes we so desire.  Why is that?

The path of least resistance is always whispering in our ear.  At the moment it seems easy.  At this moment perhaps it is all we can muster.  Perhaps we have gotten complacent or just plain lazy.  We don’t want to have to do the hard stuff.  Change is difficult.  It is uncomfortable.  It is stressful.  It creates discord and chaos because those around us don’t want us to change.  Why?  Because then they have to change and they don’t really want to change…a viscious cycle.

You’ve heard the statement, “It gets harder before it gets better?”  Well, no one wants harder.  No one wants to rock that boat.   We all, me included, would like a magic wand or a magic pill.  Dieting is soooooo hard!  Stopping smoking is soooo hard!  For me, one of the hardest things to do is finish a project.  I am a self-starter.  It is the finish that trips me up.   My interests wander.  I get bored.  Mundane details don’t peek my interest.  Even though I know that the quality in a project is with the details, I would rather leave it up to someone else so I can get on with that adrenaline rush that starting a new project gives me.  Yes, I guess you could say I am an adrenaline junky.

I literally have to force myself to finish.  That is not fun!  So, if you were to walk into my house there would not be one room that you would find finished.  However, that is a subject for another day.  Let me ask you a question.  If you didn’t have to worry about money and you could do anything you wanted with your time and money, what would that be?  I remember not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up.  In high school I couldn’t tell you what I wanted to do with my life.  I just drifted here and there, really not accomplishing anything.

Even though I am a muralist, I really don’t seem me making a career of it.  It is something I do for fun…self gratification.  I love looking at it and knowing others are enjoying it, but I don’t see it as long-term value.  I am also a writer.  Though I am published and though I have several more books in me, I don’t see it providing me with long-term joy.  It is fun while I am writing it, but when I am finished I have to ask myself, “What now?”

I am sure you are either about to go to work or relaxing after a hard day’s work.  Perhaps you are a stay at home mother and you have finally gotten the kids to bed and are spending time here with me.  Believe me, you worked!  And, I am sure you are one of the millions who work because you have to, not because you want to.  Most jobs are just a way to make money so you can support yourself or your family.  It affords you the opportunity to buy those toys or have a nice house, or a new car.  You have some nice benefits and can take a vacation once in a while.  Or perhaps not.  Perhaps you wish you were in a position to take that coveted vacation, but haven’t found the time or the money to do so.  You, by the way, are in the same boat as most of us.

I am sure you ask yourself every day:  “What am I doing this for?”  “Where am I going?”  “What will I be doing in five years?”  Well, hop into the boat because most of us ask those same questions.  Unfortunately, we often don’t see any way of doing anything else but what we have been doing.  We get up, go to work, come home, sit in front of the TV and wish we knew how to change our lives.

So, here goes…What do you really want to be doing?  Let’s say you have an anonymous benefactor that will take care of all the money issues.  Let’s say that you never have to go to that dead-end job ever again.  How would you spend the rest of your life?

Here is my answer to that question.  I want to do something to give back. I have struggled to get where I am now and I want to make someone else’s journey a little bit easier.   I want to be doing something to make a difference.  I want to be doing something to change people’s lives for the better. I don’t want them to have to wait 61 years to learn what I have had to learn on my own.   I want to teach people, (particularly women), how to become self-reliant, confident, loving, caring, healthy, strong, and courageous.  I want to touch people’s lives in a way that will empower them.  I want to teach women to walk with their chin up and shoulders back and be able to look people in the eye and be confident in her own abilities.  I want to help them to recognize their gifts and talents and value in this world.  I want to show women that they have value,  intelligence, and purpose.

Though we love you men, we don’t need you to be whole.  I want to teach women to come into a relationship as a peer and be able to bring all that we are to the relationship.  I want to teach women that they don’t need to be a stone around your neck but can provide the wings to lift you up as well as themselves.  I want to show women the way of independence that allows us to energize a relationship  rather than drain it.  I want them to get excited about life.  I want them to look into the future unafraid of what lies ahead because they know that they have the ability to handle whatever comes.

I want them to know the feeling of well-being.  I want them to walk through life with dignity and compassion.  I want them to allow themselves to make mistakes, “…embrace forgiveness, and humbly make self-directed corrections that allow a rebalanced spirit to triumph once again”.  (taken from Medicine Cards by Sams & Carson – revised, expanded edition).  I want them to stand strong for what they believe in.  I want them to learn to meet the world with honesty and integrity. I want to help them discard the old, useless version of who they think they are and replace it with a new vision of who they really are.  And, I want to give them coping skills and resources that will see them through the tough times. This is exactly why I have created The Women’s  Study Center- Women in Motion.

This project is still in the larva stage.  The first stage is the idea stage.  That is represented by the egg.  The second stage is the larva stage.  That is when you actually create the meat and bones of the project.  It is the time of the business plan.  Everything you project is or ever will be is created in the larva stage.  The third stage is the caterpillar stage.  This is the stage at which you find benefactors and do what it takes to make it happen and then wait for everything to mesh together to bring your idea forth into the world.  The fourth stage is the butterfly stage.  This is the stage when the idea  is actually  born.

Now, after you have found your heart’s desire, what do you do about it?  You are beginning your larva stage.  This is where you plan and research and figure out what it will take to make it happen.  It could take years to see it born, but if you are passionate about this idea, you will do what ever it takes to make it happen.  And, there lies the crux of the problem.  Are you willing to do what ever it takes to make it happen or will you continue down the easier path and  settle for the same old thing?

Change is hard.  Change is frustrating.  Change won’t happen over night, but making changes in your life can provide you with benefits down the road that are immeasurable.  Are you willing to take the plunge?  It’s a new year.  It’s an empty canvas.  What are you going to paint on it?

Chris

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~ by womenstudycenter on January 4, 2010.

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