My granddaughter came in to see it and was amazed at how peaceful and calming it was.  I am hanging one of her paintings on the wall near my desk.  She thinks it is too dark a piece for the peace and calm of the office,  but I think it is just what the place needs.  It is a self-portrait with a unique feature.  The eyes are the windows of the soul and when you look into the eyes of the woman staring back at you from the canvas, you see deep into her soul.  What you see is the part of you that is mostly hidden and the wounds that we all carry with us. She has this haunting look that seems to reach out and grab you.  Yes, it is a dark piece, but it is perfect for the Women’s Center.  We are all wounded and we all wear a mask.  Half her face is hidden behind a mask you would find at a masquerade ball.  Streaks of blood trickle across her opposite cheek.  It is a reminder that we are all walking wounded.   It will remind me of the scar-healed wounds that I carry and that most of us do. And it will remind me that we mask our pain and hide it behind a public mask so no one will know our circumstances.  The mask isolates us and keeps us from reaching out for help.  We must change that.

I plan on hanging it as part of the opening ceremonies.  I also have asked a local poet to do a reading of her own work during the opening ceremonies.  I now need to find a pastor, who is a woman, to provide us with a prayer to start things off.

One of the things I want to do is have women make flannel baby blankets that we can give to new mothers and  young children in the community.  They provide comfort and my teenage grandchildren still have the ones their other grandmother made for them when they were small.  My 17-year-old granddaughter is always cuddling up with her to watch TV or when she is ill.  I think this would be a nice gesture and do something good for the kids.  Actually, my son, who is now 37, still has his “huggy” blanket packed away with his other memorabilia like his models and other childhood treasures  in a foot locker.   If and when he has children he wants to be able to pull them out and share his stories with his children.

There are many things the center can do in the community so I am anxious to get things going.  Wish me luck!  It has been a lot more involved, getting it started, than I expected. Just purchasing the liability insurance was an amazing adventure and a bit harrowing.  I had not thought of all the scenerios that could arise from this simple act of opening the Women’s Center.

So, here’s to the future, may it be bright and successful!

Chris

I finished the first wall hanging.  8 women were chosen to hang on the 2′x8′ plaque.  These wall hangings will be mounted all around the office.  I hope it creates inspiration for those who visit us.  I know it did for me.  I had no idea how many talented and creative women had come before and paved the way for us.  And most of them made their way when it was not popular or acceptable that women were independent.

I need to purchase a couple of work tables, for our workshops, as well as some chairs.  That is really all I need to begin.  I hope to have the grand opening in March.  No sense in putting it off longer.  I need to jump in there and start changing things for women in our community.

I will post a photo as soon as I get the office set up. Wish me luck!

Chris

First, as a woman,  I have been treated with a lot less respect than if a man would come into the dealership.  That is, until I walked into the KIA dealership in Rock Hill, SC.  Good KIA is the name of the dealership.  This was such a pleasant experience I just have to share that.  But first let me share a totally opposite experience.

My daughter and I drove up to a KIA dealership in Spartanburg, SC.  I had already talked to a salesman in Rock Hill, but the Spartanburg dealer seemed to think they could get her into one.   She wanted to see if she could reduce her payments by trading her present Toyota in.  The first thing that happened was we stood out in a cold wind looking at the cars until, after seeing that no one was going to wait on us, we walked into the showroom to get warm and hope we got noticed.  Finally, a woman came up to us and asked if we were being helped.  We told her no and she asked us what we were interested in.  We told her that we were both interested in buying a car.  She walked out with us and we explained that my daughter wanted to look at the charcoal colored one and I wanted to drive the spicy red one.  She said she would go in and get the keys.  Finally, a man came out holding only one set of keys.

He said he couldn’t find the keys for the red one so we would just drive the gray one.  That was his first mistake.  He evidently didn’t take me seriously.  We explained that we were both looking to buy.  I got into the passenger side of a 2011 KIA Optima and fell in love.  My daughter drove it but I could tell from just being in the passenger seat, that it was the car I wanted.  She fell in love with it also, but we have different taste so I still wanted the red one.

I had come in wanting to purchase a 2010, but they said they didn’t have any on the lot.  Well, once I rode in the 2011, there was no comparison and I was sold.   I didn’t tell him that.  I just stood back and waited for him to make his next move.  The salesman asked if we could concentrate on my daughter for now and I just looked at him and said, “of course!”  Obviously he didn’t think I was a potential customer.  He didn’t even offer to let me drive it.  That was his second mistake.  Had I been the salesman I would have made an effort to have both keys and take the time for both of us to drive.  He didn’t, and that was the turning point.

So, after sitting in his office for an hour or so they finally came to the conclusion that she could not reduce her payments sufficient to make it worth her continuing.  In fact, her payments would have been a lot more than she was paying now.  So, with that, he turned to me.  Still no offer to let me drive.  By this time I was so ticked off at how he was treating both of us that I explained that I was in no hurry and please don’t go to any trouble getting a spicy red one because I wanted to look around.  He told them there were no red ones in the region and I might consider a different color.  I told him , no thank you and basically pacified him that he could contact me later.  But, I knew and Jennifer knew that it would be a cold day in hell before I bought from them.

So, I had stopped by the Rock Hill dealership first and just talked to the salesman briefly and really liked him.  He was much different from the other salesmen I had dealt with in the past, so,  I went up to Rock Hill and told him I wanted to buy a car from them.  He asked if I was still interested in the 2010 and was surprised when I said, No!  I want the 2011.  Well,  he treated me so well, and I felt so relaxed and cared about that the process was pretty easy, unlike my previous purchase of a Dodge Caravan three years before.

Let me tell you about that experience before continuing.  It is important to know just what I experienced so you can avoid this in the future.  One of my required features was a SIRIUS radio.  We already had a year’s subscription on my present car and that was a must!   I think I asked the salesman at least 20 times during the all-day marathon that I was put through, “Now, this car has a SIRIUS radio, right?”  He just smiled and assured me that it did.  For some reason I didn’t quite believe him subconsciously, so I felt the need to verify this every time we talked during that long day of back and forth and back and forth.

I am not a detail person and I tend to be a bit spacey and I didn’t know much about buying a car, let alone that if an accessory was on the car it would be noted on the list of accessories that came with the car. At the KIA dealership I had to sign a form saying that I had read the list and agreed with it before continuing with the paperwork.   I didn’t think to look there with the van because I was rather new at car buying.  I just wanted to buy a car and I was looking at the bottom line of price and a SIRIUS radio.  The rest wasn’t of much interest to me except that it was a van for family trips with my daughter and grandchildren.  I trusted the salesman.  DON’T DO THAT!

So, even up to the point when he handed me the keys he told me to go home and contact SIRIUS to set up the radio.  I didn’t know that if it had the radio, it would be set up at the dealership before I left with it.  So, I drove merrily home only to find out that I didn’t have a SIRIUS radio and because it was my word against his,  I had to purchase a radio and pay to have it installed.  Let me tell you that I was so angry that I could barely be civil.

So, make sure that the salesman shows you every accessory you have on the car and make sure you check to make sure they are all in there before you sign any papers!

OK, now for the good experience again.  The Rock Hill dealership bent over backwards to get me into a car.  The salesman was low-key, not pushy, and very helpful and attentive.  His name is Jim and he heralds from New York, originally.  Now, let me tell you about the car.  It is Spicy Red with charcoal gray dash but with beige fabric seats and interior.  To sit in it is like sitting in a race car.  It is low slung, sporty, and has a cockpit to die for.  The lighting on all the gauges is red and is easily seen even in the daytime.  I had trouble seeing my dash instruments in the Dodge Caravan in the daytime as they were a neon green.

It has a huge trunk.  I’d say it is a two to four body trunk…just kidding!  You can lay the back seat down and have extended room to carry long packages, etc.  The great thing about it is the passenger side is like a cocoon surrounding the passenger and you feel very protected there.  It has a curtain of airbags around the whole thing that makes you very protected in case of an accident, God forbid!

Now, I let my 6’2″ grandson sit in the back.  If he could sit comfortably without his knees clear up to his chin, then that was an extra benefit.  Though I hadn’t bought it with him in mind, I wanted to see just how much room there was.  Well, to my surprise, he fit nicely, even with the passenger see pushed way back.  He had a one inch clearance with his knees.  And, with it pushed back that far my feet did not reach the end of the leg space in the front passenger section.  But then, I am only 5’4″.

So, not only did I get a car big enough to be able to be used to pick up my grandchildren from school, I got sporty to boot.  Now, the radio channel changer and volume things are on the steering wheel.  Neat!  You just have to try one out.  And I got the entry-level model without the power seats.  The rest comes standard, including the SIRIUS radio.  It is an automatic, dual exhaust, fuel injectors, 4 cylinder that really gets up and goes.  It has power outside mirrors.  And, if that wasn’t sweet enough, there is a light strip on the outside mirrors that comes on when you use your fob to unlock your door and when you put on your turn signals.

It has a USB port for MP3 players as well as two electrical outlets and an AUX outlet.   It comes with Blue Tooth also. This is all standard!  Oh, can I say enough?  And it has a sun glasses holder that actually shuts without having to tape it shut like the one on my van.  Blessing all the way around!  LOL!

Now, they ordered in a Spicy Red one for me from another dealership outside our region because I guess they are popular.  I had to pay to have it brought down but it was reasonable.  I think he said it was 20 cents per mile. It cost me about $150.00 or so.  Well worth it to me.   And, they financed it in with the rest of the financing.

I was a little frustrated with the part where we talked to the guy who handles the financing, but I do understand that it is their job to sell us their finance package, etc.  However, we had walked in with financing in hand and I suggest you do that because we estimated that it might have saved us $5,000.  Luckily we bank with USAA and they have a program where they find us the best deal and then they provide us with a certificate that tells the salesman that we already have financing in hand.  That allows us better leverage in the deal because we know we can walk out any time and go somewhere else if we don’t get what we need.

Always ask your lender, if they provide the wrap around warrantee stuff with the financing, what those benefits include so when you are talking to the dealer finance guy, you know what kind of coverage you have.  They will try to sell you their package so you need to know what you already have with your bank in order to compare what is the best deal.  In our case it was comparable except for one thing.  Through the KIA  financing, they did not offer Debt protection coverage.  Our bank offered it.  That was the deal breaker.  At our age, it is wise to purchase debt protection.  That means that you pay insurance so that if something happens to one of us, the car is paid off in full.  This is a must and since KIA didn’t offer it, we went with our own bank, even though we might have gotten it  1% cheaper through KIA.

It is imperative that you do your homework and come in with all the information you will need to come from a position of power.  It is their job to sell you on their packages because the dealership gets a kick back on each thing they sign you up for.  It is not that they are trying to con you, they are just salesmen and they have a job to do.  It is your job to be informed and know what is going on so you do not feel taken advantage of in the end.  Especially if you are a woman.

So, it took a few days for the car to be brought in and they called to tell me I could come in and get it.  They showed me the manuals and the emergency phone numbers.  They took me out to the car and showed me all the buttons and what they do.  We opened the trunk and the gas lid.  It opens by pushing a button inside the car on the door panel.  Neat!   I got to meet the service people and even the dealership manager came out and shook my hand.  They filled my car up, detailed it and even transfer the plates from our trade-in vehicle to the new car.  It was effortless.

That is what you need from your dealership.  Service, respect, and that they really care about you.

Now, go out there and buy that car.  Do your homework first!

Chris

Basically you collect three boxes in three different sizes.  The smallest one can be as small as a ring box because in this box you only place a hand full of folded up pieces of paper because it is for short-term wants and needs.  Things you want to happen no more than a month or so out.  The second box needs to be a bit bigger because it is for your long-term needs.  Say, two to five years out.  Then the third box needs to be much bigger because it will hold all the people you know who may directly affect the outcome of your needs and wants.

Each box must have a lid.  They can be any shape, but they must be silver.  You may paint them.  When I first started I decopauged them with silver foil.  It doesn’t matter as long as they are silver.  You may want to paint the inside red since red is the color that activates.  I painted the inside of my boxes red.  I decorated them with tumbled glass pieces.  You can use anything you wish, seeds, beans, rice, sea shells, buttons…anything.  Since they are personal to you, you need to make them reflect you.

I had about 5 pieces of paper folded up in the smallest box.  I haven’t looked at them in a while…a long while.  I was able to take three of the 5 short term items out of the short term box.  It amazed me that I had accomplished them without really acknowledging that they were there.  I placed two new ones in the box along with those that had not been accomplished.

Then I opened the middle sized box with the long term goals.  I was able to throw away a few because either they had been accomplished or the item was no longer wanted or needed.  I will add more later.   I did not remove any from the third box as once the names of the people are placed there I feel that they need to stay there.  I will look through it when I have time and make sure that the names are needed, but I will certainly add more and as I learn the actual names of the people I will be dealing with, I will replace the general description with the specific name.  For instance, the term landlord will be replaced with his actual name.

I would love to hear how this process works for you.  If you prefer a simpler process, just get yourself a small composition book from your local office store.  Staples has them in packs of three.  They look just like the larger composition books the kids use for school, but are only about 3×3, maybe 4×4 in size.

I hope everything you want and need comes true for you!

Chris

I was quite taken back by the saying printed on the small white piece of paper.  It read, “When you are not afraid to do it wrong the first time, you’ll eventually get it right!.”

A long time ago I made a commitment to myself to never let fear stop me from doing anything I wanted to do.  I was raised by a mother who found fear at every turn.  Though she was gifted beyond imagination, she never really did anything with her talents.  She lived in fear of my father, people, putting herself out there, and never risked anything, thus never gaining anything.

I remember the day I called her to share the excitement and joy I had at having closed on our home.  We had found a wonderful piece of land, (5 acres), with a 12 acre lake at the back.  There was cleared land where the house was but just beyond that bare ground was a forest of trees of every kind imaginable.  It was a hardwood forest with cedars surrounding the bareness of the cleared land.  I had sat there looking out our large picture window view of the back yard with all the woods surrounding us.  A female turkey, with eight little chicks all following her in a straight line, crossed directly in my line of sight.  What a wonderful way to spend the first day in my new house!  That evening, a small herd of deer grazed in my back yard, nibbling the new shoots of grass that had sprung up.  I was surrounded by God’s beauty and wonder and I just wanted to share it with her.

I had forgotten that her glass was always half empty and filled with fear to the brim.  Before I was done talking to her, my joy had dissipated and I was sad that she could not share my joy.  She found all sorts of things to be fearful of.  The deer must not be made pets because they will attack me if I get too close.  The wildlife was fraught with all kinds of diseases and I must keep my distance.  On and on she had gone finding reasons to dump her fears on me.   How sad for her and for me.

It was about this time that I realized that she had, indeed, created a lot of fear in me that had kept me from being the person I was born to be. Without realizing it she had indoctrinated me in the evils of the world and the disasters that would descend upon me if I ventured out into the cruel world.

That is when I decided not to let fear dictate my actions, which would dam up my creative spirit.  My very soul would shrivel and die if I allowed that.  So, here I am today.  I look back to 2002 when I opened the doors to my boutique, The Purple Iris, and then to the day I closed the doors, 2003, July 17.   It had been a big lesson that had come through the school of hard knocks at the time.  However, I learned a lot about me and I learned a lot about business.  It was preparation for creating the Woman’s Center.  I had to learn that lesson in order to create a successful Women’s Center.

If you are not making mistakes, you are not doing anything.  Mistakes are inevitable in everything.  Perfection is wonderful to strive for, but impossible to achieve.  Remember, it is the journey, not the destination.  So, I say just do it!.  By that I mean go for your dreams but remember that preparation is essential to success.  The better prepared you are the more likely you are of succeeding.  Also remember there is no failure.  Just the act of doing something is success, for in that doing you are learning and learning is the key to success.  It may not come right away, but success will come eventually if we just keep trying.

I learned I am not good at details like bookkeeping and organization.  That is why this time, I make a very special effort to not be disorganized.  You see, each of us sees the world through different filters.  So, what works for one person probably won’t work for me.  My brain works differently.  I understand differently.  What I have discovered is that I am a visual person.  I am color oriented.  So, my files need to be color coordinated.  That means my file tabs have to be organized with color representing different catagories, so I can look for the blue tabs if I want this, or look for the yellow tabs if I want this.  Once inside the file, I can use the normal alphabetical filing system, but the category tabs need to be colored.  This type of filing system makes it easy for me to comprehend and so it is not so daunting.

Likewise I will be using a rather giant cork board in easy reach of my desk.  If I lay something down, even for a moment, it disappears on me.  I can tack that sucker up on my cork board and it doesn’t disappear.  Then, when I get around to filing it, it is there and ready for me to file in the appropriate place.  Everything needs to go up on the wall.  That is just how I am.  And, it keeps the clutter off my desk, which tends to pile up if I don’t use the cork board system.  I wish I was the type of person who would immediately go over to the file and place it correctly in its appropriate place.  I am not!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am scattered, doing many things at one time and I tend to procrastinate.  So, if it isn’t a priority right at that moment, it will be placed on the pile on my desk and will soon disappear as I add more to the pile.  So, the cork board is essential to my keeping things organized.  It’s not perfect, but it is better than what I have done in the past.  And that is progress.

So, you see, the failure of my boutique was not a failure after all.  What I learned were valuable lessons I would need down the road.  Yes, it was sad that it didn’t work.  But, to be honest, I was somewhat relieved that it closed.  I was not happy and the stress level was tremendous. It took me several years to straighten out the tax mess I created for myself.  That is not likely to happen again because I know where my weaknesses are and I have put things in place to compensate for that.

Am I afraid?  Yes!  I am!  However, fear is not going to stop me.  I want to do this.  I need to do this.  I am going into it with my eyes wide open.  I do not have to make money at it so I don’t have to be an actual business right now. I can donate my time and use my own money to pay for expenses.   When my daughter gets her masters degree and opens up her counseling service and we become partners, she has people she wants to bring into it that can do those things that are difficult for me.  That leaves me free to do the fun stuff I want to do.

So, don’t be afraid of making a mistake or failing.  It is only a dry run for later. They say practice makes perfect.  Practice, practice, practice, and learn, learn, learn.  If do you not give up and keep learning from your mistakes, eventually you’ll get it right.  And then watch you grab that brass ring!  Just remember that you must prepare so that when the opportunities arrive, you will be in a place to take advantage of them.  Don’t let fear defeat you.  Get up and dust yourself off and keep on truck’n.

Chris

Well, it just so happened that the paint store owner also owns the complex.  There was a for rent sign up in one of his store fronts between him and the bar and grill.  He owns or is partners in most of the businesses there in the complex.  So, I asked him if he was renting those two spaces?  He said yes.  I asked him what he wanted for them.  He said it depends on who it is and what they want to do.   So, I quickly said,  “Me!” I proceeded to tell him about the Woman’s Study Center and before you know it he was giving me a tour of the two office spaces.

One was definitely too big, the other was just right!  I sound like I am telling the story of the three bears and Goldie Locks.   500 sq. ft. of space, private bathroom big enough to put my escape suitcase lockers.  A small middle room that can be used as a conference room or for entertaining if I put in a small fridge, microwave and coffee maker.  Plenty of space for a workshop area at one end and my office space at the other in a long narrow room.  It faces south so I will have solar gain in the winter and can use shades in the summer to cut cooling costs. In fact, I can use oscilating fans most of the time.  There is a space I can plant my treadmill and my easel and painting supplies…it is everything I need.

I wasn’t planning on needing the space until March, after the last workshop in February.   However, if I take the space now, I have time to fix it up and I can hold the last workshop in the space and have a grand opening kind of celebration along with it.  Since I am planning on teaching the six hat method of making decisions, I thought I might want to actually use it first so I can talk from a position of strength.  So, I am actually using it to make this decision.

My decision… Yes!  I am taking the space.  I am trying not to get too excited because I tend to run away with myself when I do.  Slow and steady is my new mantra.  Done the run and gun thing in the past and regretted it.  So, I am now in the middle of creating a new business plan using the information I collected from this method.

While there is a lot of emotional benefits from doing this, I have to be careful that I am doing it right the first time and doing it for the right reasons and have reasonable expectations.  Using this method covers all the particulars and even allows me creative freedom to just brainstorm and enjoy the excitement of creativity while also dealing with the realities of it all.  It allows me to keep at least one foot on the ground at all times.  For me, that is absolutely necessary.  To do otherwise invites disaster.

What I found was that I can move a lot of my furniture, supplies, and office equipment from home to office and say good bye to the clutter in my personal spaces.  It actually solves a big clutter problem for me.  What more could I ask for?  Two birds with one stone.  Perfect!  So, I guess I’ve made my decision.  Now, I just have to get the financing in place and plan things out.  I guess The Woman’s Study Center is really going to happen!  Thanks for listening.  You have been a great help!  I only hope I can help you in return.

Chris

I am a left-handed, (ambidextrous), creative, artistic, right-brained and could be called “Airhead” in many instances.  I’m always thinking outside the box with no mind as to what is in the box.  I would rather be digging fence post holes than inside cleaning the toilet.  I change my mind frequently.  I can see things from many different angles but have a hard time selecting just one.  My tastes are eclectic so I have a hard time picking a style.  I like to take a bit from here, more from there, and meld it all together to make my own unique style.  I’m that way with my music…a little of this and a little of that and, how about more of that over there?  Details?  Oh, don’t worry about details, just start.  It will figure itself out in the end.

So, when I started my business, (my boutique) seven years ago, It was a spur of the moment thing.  Had no idea really what I was going to do or how I was going to do it.  I just knew that I want to own a business.  It didn’t matter if I was qualified or not.  Starting a business is easy.  You just start. Right?  Not!

I just rented a space and voila!  I was in business.  It didn’t last long.  I closed the doors a year later.  Is there any doubt why?  Well, I had no focus.  I went in so many different directions I was going in circles and spreading myself thin because I didn’t focus on one thing.  “Oh, pretty shiny things!  I want it for my shop.”  I got so excited about buying all the great things for my shop, (I did not use a business plan, which is deadly), that instead of focusing myself I spread myself and my finances too widely and ended up hurting the business.  Initially I was going to sell jewelry.  What I ended up with was a hodge-podge off all sorts of things and no one really knew what it was that I was selling.  I Satisfied my teenage angst that I had not been allowed to indulge in as a teen and before I knew it I was surrounded by beaded curtains, boas, nick knacks, clothing…everything but the jewelry and I could not keep it going.

I hate drudge.  Most of running a business is repetitive drudge, like the bookkeeping.  I love creating it and getting it up and running. (Someone told me that was the description of an Entrepreneur).   I’m a writer, a muralist, and I get bored easily.  Did I tell you I am also a Gemini?  There are many me’s.  There is the artist me, the business me, and the writer me.  Oh, and there is also the mother me, the wife me, the sister me, the daughter me…well, I guess you get my drift. My family says they never know who I will be from one day to the next.

I often stop in the middle of projects and have a hard time getting back to them so my home is one big project in progress. Not one room is finished completely.  My family groans when them come in and find me staring at the latest HGTV how to programs because they know me too well.  “That’s what I want to do!” I will shout out eagerly.

My kitchen is three different colors because after I got started painting it, I found I didn’t like the color.  Making up my mind is a problem as I see so many options and opportunities and I don’t want to limit myself. I’m always looking for perfection.  I have developed a saying about paint.  “It’s just paint.  If I don’t like it I can always redo it in a different color”.  My family knows that once I stop, they may have to live with the half-finished room, for sometimes years, as I get pulled in a different direction.

I want to do it all and I want to do it right now!  I have problems waiting. There is good reasoning behind my motivations.  I spent the better part of my life financially and emotionally caged and unable to experience the full potential of my creative abilities and so I guess I am making up for lost time…a kind of bucket list of sorts.  At age 62 I don’t have a lot of time left to experience all the things I let pass me by before.

In helping women, many of us are limited by finances, or the lack there of.  And, in order to be totally truthful, lack of income can stifle creativity simply by not being able to indulge in it.  This happened to me in my first two marriages, so, after my second divorce I included financial considerations along with other things on my list of what I want in a spouse.  I had done the poor thing and I did not want to repeat it.  So, Financial considerations was right there at the top of my list along with all my other criteria.

Patience is not my virtue.  Bookkeeping is a drudge that  I am not well suited for.  I have to force myself to keep financial records orderly and I often fail at this task.  This failure helped to create the situation that led to me shutting the doors on my boutique seven years ago, after only one year.

So, you can see that living in a cluttered state of mind can be detrimental to success. My failed business venture was not a waste of my time.  I know now what are my strong suits and what I should avoid.  First, I need to hire a good bookkeeper or accountant to make sure that the bookkeeping fiasco is not repeated.  Second, retail is not a good fit for me.  In fact, what I really liked, and need to focus on now, was all the women who came into the store and chatted.  So, when I decided to start the Woman’s Study Center, I knew that it would not be a retail business.  It is a service focused entity set up to help women.  It is something I must do…give back!

I also do not want it to be a non-profit.  I had no idea what a non-profit was until I did my research.  The non-profit was crossed off my list soon after discovering that as a non-profit I would lose total control over it to a board of directors.  However, I am not ready to declare it a business either.   I started doing free workshops to get my feet wet.  I set up a series of six workshops over three months and was lucky enough to find a non profit to allow me to use their facilities for that three months with only asking for a donation to cover their expenses.  This was a God send for me.  I could introduce the Woman’s Study Center without a commitment to a permanent locations and hone my craft on the ladies who attend the workshops.  And, I can see whether the workshops are viable and accepted and needed in the community before making a big financial commitment.  So far there have been ups and downs and I will have to really evaluate it at the end of the series to see if I really want to continue.

I am forcing myself to be organized and it goes against everything that I am.  I am hoping to retrain myself and hope that soon it will feel more comfortable for me.  I know the de-cluttering actions seem to produce better results as I trying to find a structure that works for me and still allows me the freedom of creativity.  I’m not asking much, am I?

One of the things I am doing to de-clutter my life is cleaning out the stuff.  I am donating to the Salvation Army store almost weekly.  I am going to eventually sell all  of my Dragonware Collection because it just takes up valuable space and I have to dust it and I don’t have time for such things anymore.  My life is full, where before it wasn’t. It’s amazing how I have surrounded myself with stuff to fill up the holes.  I don’t have to do that now and need the holes so I can fill them up with my Woman’s Study Center.  I have made a pact with myself that if I want to bring new things into my life I have to let go of some of the old stuff first.  I’m doing that with clothes as well.  Old out first, new in after.

And, I am not just jumping into things.  I really get an adrenilin rush when an idea develops.  I think for years the excitement of the energy rush I got from starting projects has been l ike a drug for me.  That’s why once I get into the project and the newness wears off, I struggle completing them.  I’m an adrenalin junky!  Knowing this, I can slow things down a bit and take my time developing the project.  I divide the project into phases so that I can enjoy the beginning of each phase but make the project doable by not biting off more than I can chew.

I’ve also made a commitment to finish my projects before I can start new ones.  It has taken me a long time to get the Woman’s Study Center going because I am doing it in phases.  I find myself re-entering old patterns by getting ahead of myself at times, so I have to stop, pull back on the reigns and take a deep breath so I can really think about things first.  No jumping into an empty pool head first!  Ouch!  In the past that has caused me a great deal of emotional pain.  I am not into Masochism these days.  A nice change!

I am dong little things that make big changes.  I just replaced my old ceiling fan, (didn’t have a light kit, just a fan), that was in my den.  When ever anyone came over to visit, I had to go all over the house turning on hall lights, kitchen lights, living room lights,  and these old, ugly lamps whose time has passed.

Since the ceiling was fairly low, my six foot five son-in-law had to always watch where he walked for fear of decapitation.  And, when we tried to use the Wii with one of those dance videos, the remote kept hitting the blades.  It was always dark and dingy and unpleasant.  Well, the fan is gone and a nice shade-covered light that hugs the ceiling has replaced it.  I’ll take a picture and share it with you.  It matches the one in the kitchen and matches the brown woodwork in my Native American style decor.  Everyone is pleased and I got such a good deal on it because it was boxed as a set of two and I only paid $14.00 for both.  Now I have one for my bathroom to replace the fishbowl style light.

I am really trying to think about the details now.  De-cluttering my life is helping to de-clutter my mind.  Structure is good!  I know, I keep telling myself this and one day perhaps I will listen to myself.  It’s called self-discipline, something I have avoided.  Well, it’s time to grow up, Chris.  Can’t stay a kid forever.  I’ve nurtured my inner child and it’s time to let her blossom into a young woman.  Maybe I’ve finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up!  An adult!

Time to clean out and move forward.  Let’s live with less stuff and more personal relationships.  Can’t take the stuff with us.  But the love we give and receive will be the only thing we will take with us to the other side.  Quality, not quantity!

Chris

I think my first goal is to work on forgiveness.  I watched a new TV series, “I survived, beyond and back” last night and it really spoke to me.  All the people involved stated that the only thing we take with us is the love we give and receive.  None of the rest matters.  Our only goal here on earth is to learn to love and to accept love.

The second goal is to love myself to lose the weight I need.  I am well on my way.  I really didn’t take very good care of myself during the holidays.  This has to change.  I am like an alcoholic.  I can’t have just one piece of candy.  I am diabetic and I must take care of me so I have a quality life.

The third goal is to finish all my projects.  I tend not to finish things.  I get pulled in other directions and don’t get back to them.  So, no starting new ones until I finish the old ones.  I am sure I will feel so much better with them finished.

And the fourth goal is to sacrifice now so I can have what I want later.  I have long term goals that need me to be fiscally sane.  I must learn to put off gratification in order to reach those goals.

And the fifth goal is to give back and pursue the Woman’s Study Center project.

So, with this said, I am creating a new Universe list and taking it one day at a time.

Happy New Year!

Chris

And, we have lost that personal knowledge that the “Buck Stops Here”, with us!  Our country is what we have created.  We live in our own reality.  Mostly, it is apathy that has caused our decline.  We are too comfortable in our over indulgent lifestyles and therefore fail to see that we are giving away our power by doing nothing to change our own circumstances.

When President Obama ran his campaign on change, many of us actually thought that he meant it.  However, we didn’t know that our “it” and his “it” were two different things.  We really didn’t listen very well, or read between the lines.  We sat back and thought, “let him do it.”  Well, he certainly went about doing “It”.  His version of “It”.  It certainly is not what we really wanted.  Now we are in a big pile of crap!  We got what we asked for, CHANGE!

If you get a chance to read the story called, “The Red Shoes”, please do so.  It is a simple story told around the world in many ways and in many languages and is still pertinent today– Perhaps more so than ever before.  The gist of the story is that this young girl goes to live with a distant relative after being orphaned.  In some stories she is an urchin taken in by a rich dowager.  However she gets there, she is brought into this beautiful home to live.  She is fixated with getting a pair of red shoes.  She wants a pair of red shoes more than anything else.  Soon, she is given a pair of red shoes.  However, upon putting them on, she immediately starts dancing.  It is not her will, but the shoes that is dictating what she does.  The dowager manages to get the shoes off her feet and they are put away.  She is told never to put them on again.  (I don’t know why they were not thrown away, but they weren’t).  She is obsessed with those shoes.  Finally, the urge to put them on becomes too great and she gives in to the temptation.

She puts on the wonderful red shoes.  Immediately she starts dancing.  She can’t stop dancing.  She dances out the door, down the road, and disappears into the woods still dancing and crying for someone to help her by cutting off her feet.  The story leaves you with the thought that she will spend the rest of her life dancing until her body will no longer functions.  Surely she had no idea that these simple pair of red shoes would be her end.  Surely she did not think that her compulsion would take over and control her life in such a way.  (The story is quoted in Clarissa Pinkola  Estes’ book, “Women Who Run With the Wolves”, where she discusses the implications of the story).

The old addage, “Be careful what you ask for because you might get it!”, probably came from that story.  Make sure that what you really want comes from the heart and that it is for the right reasons.  And, be careful what you ask for, because you actually might get it.  If this is not a case for critical thinking, I don’t know what is.

Here is to change, (change we really want), and new beginnings and opportunities.

Chris

My little Weeble-looking avatar looks like Sally Jesse Raphael–complete with red glasses.  It is amazing how real the avatars look.  Even my husband’s looks just like him.  I love boxing.  The harder you hit the higher the points and it helps with balance and rhythm.  Bowling is so real.  It was so much more fun that actual bowling because I didn’t get so tired.  My wrists didn’t weaken and hurt like they do hefting that big heavy ball around.  There was soccer, though I haven’t tried that one, and ski jumping, arobics…found out the step program is a killer.  I could actually hurt myself by getting my feet tangled.  I don’t know how you ladies do that step.  I almost fell off the board. Will have to work slowly at it to get the hang of it.

We also got a dance moves Wii program.  That is a calorie burner!!!!!!!!  We did the short version and the sweat was pour off us.  What a work out!  And I love to dance!    The bad part of the Wii fit is that it remembers…too well.  Every time I get on the board it groans.  Now, you have to laugh at that.  It also remembers that I did not use it every day.  It kind of insulted me when I stepped on the board.  “Too busy to work out yesterday?” it said to me.  Kinda fun, mind you.

We have yet to open the Boot Camp fitness program we bought for my granddaughter, who is thinking about joining the military after graduation.  That should be interesting.  My daughter’s dance moves was quite entertaining.  I haven’t gotten the nerve to do it in front of everyone.  I will practice when no one is home.  Then, break out of the closet and show off my dance moves.

I can see that the Wii is going to be so good for the whole family.  We have found something that we can all do together as a family.  It also teaches social skills.  It will help my grandson, who has aspergers, social skills he is going to need.  He tends to blurt out in appropriate comments and we can help him to learn what is ok and what is not while playing this game.

This is so much fun, I am thinking of purchasing this for my workshops .  I was thinking I would have to install a bunch of expensive equipment at the office for women who can’t afford a gym membership, but, in light of the Wii, I can just purchase a large screen tv and the Wii system we have purchased and they can use that to work out with.  How fun!

So, I see where this is going.  I am expanding my vision of what the program can do.  I can hardly wait for next year to start to see where this all leads me.

See you next year!

Chris